Things to experience in Germany: #1 Oktoberfest

What better way to celebrate German reunification than to get completely tanked, then get all grab-butt with each other? Because we all know that Germans get all huggy and gropey when drunk. This is Oktoberfest, where the beer flows like wine, and the grandmas all make it a point to drink you into the ground, then stand over your body to call you a sissy boy.

"You twist the boot to avoid the air bubble... sissy."

Although this is the definitive German celebration, there is the fact that Andrew and fam don't drink, thereby missing what makes Oktoberfest, Oktoberfest. But all is not lost. You can take advantage of the season.

You can eat hearty German food of schweinsbraten, haxn, wurstel, and weisswurst. I don't know exactly what these are, but at least I know that they come from part of a pig. The word o' wisdom don't say you can't eat pork! Hooray.

Moreover, as scary as this might seem, you will be the most sober person in the country. You will have the clearest mind, kinda like Luke Wilson when he traveled into the future.

Or if you want, you can be totally uninhibited. Want to punch somebody? Sock him in the face! You don't want to wear clothes? Streak to your hearts content! How is all this possible? From what I hear, during Oktoberfest, public intoxication actually earns its citizens a small monetary reward. All it takes is to act the part.

If you need help, just remember, WWDSD, What would Donald Sutherland do?

Gut (G)Luck, Andrew. Germany Won't Know Hit 'Em.

Well, my brother Andrew's in Germany fulfilling his three year obligation to Army for paying his debt to the racket that USC calls its dental school. He's there already, with Shawna and the baby Ellie joining him next week sometime. He's a doctor, an officer, but certainly not a gentleman. No wonder Goebbels talked crap about his kind back in the day.

How is this not considered the master race?

I'm proud of him, though. He's half a world away, opening up his most ironic new chapter in his life's book. For a kid who never put up with authority figures (During Halloween, he once called out his high school campus security for impersonating an officer), he ends up in Army. Hooahh. At least he's the authority. All the grunts will have to salute him. Maybe he'll take it too far, abusing his power by punishing the cadets in new and interesting ways.

If Major Payne was German, the Nazi's probably would've won those freaking wars.

Y'all be sure to check out the link to his blog on my page if you want updates straight from the horses laptop.

As for Andrew, keep it up. I'm sure Germany will treat you well. It is the foremost authority on a plethora of subjects, which I will be touching on in 5 updates over the next 5 days (yes, I know. Updating my blog for the next five days will double the content that I've put on over the past 5 months.) So you got that to look forward to, which is nice.

History Test

I have enjoyed a number of subjects as a student, and history I guess is one of them. Nothing beats watching historical fiction movies in Dale Barker's class. I crack up when I remember Steve McQueen calling the Chinese slopeheads in The Sand Pebbles.

But I have taken only 4 history classes thoughout all of high school and college. History would definitely be my weakest link if I were to go on Jeopardy. That and opera. Because honestly, who gives a crap about that?

Cracked.com had a list of 25 significant historical events as depicted by 5 year-olds' drawings. Can you tell what each event is? Some drawings are easy, some are cryptic, and some are funny. So give it a shot. Score 1 point for each event you indentify. I'll put my answers in the comments section, so you can compare. Tell me what you got. You can click on the pictures to biggasize it. Good luck.

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To Josheph

I'm just keepin' it real.

From the 4th

This comes from Andrew and Shawna's blog, but I liked it.

We um, found these cool hoodies. Can you guess who Huey, Dewey, and Louie are?

It's Andrew, Tim, and Challa!

Some things you like, some things you hate.

I liked Wall-e.

I hate M.I.A.

Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Vision of the Future

I enjoy imagining what the future will bring. It was only in 7th grade that my crazy social science teacher was talking about the advent of the internet and how instead of kilobytes, we would be dealing with gigabytes, and the exponentials used to contrast their size. It's amazing to see where we have gone since that time.

I also enjoy looking at others' imagination of the future. Some optimistically look forward. Some fear what it will bring. There are the bleak dystopias of Orwell's 1984, and A Brave New World. There is the technology run amok, like HAL in 2001: A Space Odyssey. There are stories that view the future as the time of reckoning due to our actions now. That's all well and good, but I like Ray Bradbury stories. I like cool, mysterious environments, people, aliens, and gadgets. It's the past's take on the future.

I like the old school Tomorrowland at Disneyland. I like the imagination of the future to be somewhere that we would like to be.



Who doesn't love robots, and gadgets, and cool lights, and crazy architecture? And captain EO? I like the charm of the old school view of the future.

It was even evident in the movies in the not too distant past about the future. I used to like sci-fi movies. ET, Star Wars, Flight of the Navigator, Batteries Not Included, Inner Space, Mars Attacks, Transformers the cartoon, The Last Starfighter, Tron, and even Jurassic Park, had this sense of movie magic when I watch them as a kid.

But I haven't seen that magic in a while. CG has lost its pizzazz, and films have lost their charm. Compare the new stars wars with the old. I'm not even about the older star wars movies, but the new ones are garbage. Speilberg and Lucas worked on the new Indy movie, and even that is caca; Aliens, really? It was a yawn. All the other sci-fi movies seem like they are a sci-fi channel original production. If you haven't seen any of those, well, let's just say that mystery science theater 3000 would have a field day. Or even worse, sci-fi movies today are just boring; minority report, a.i., i robot, transformers, I'm looking at you. We went from this:

to this:
That kinda makes me sad. Can anybody prove me wrong about a sci fi movie that I can actually enjoy? There is one on the horizon that I hope is good. What better company than Pixar to recapture that Tomorrowland charm with bleeding edge technology, and more importantly, creativity. Here is a new clip for WALL E.

California Adventure: Wave Runner at Morrow Bay

Hey y'all. Everbody has their favorite beach, and mine is the Morrow Bay, Cayucos area. I love Central California beaches. They never get hot, they are way more relaxed and less populated than Southern California beaches. It's just got a laid back feeling. That's why I jumped at the chance of taking a wave runner with friend Spencer "Gushman" Anderson, and I had a blast.

This picture shows where we chilled on an isolated beach. There is this bar of land that separates a little bay from the open sea. Spencer, Angela, and I put the wave runner in the water at the public dock, and made our way past the breakers, right next to Morrow Rock on the right. From there we went out and had a beach to ourselves, which is only accessible by watercraft, or a long, out of the way, walk.

After going past the breakers, seals were there to greet us, or give us the stink eye for going out to their territory, I couldn't tell. They reminded me of Mux, though.

Here is the view of the strip of land from the other end. We stayed at the red dot. The waves were really big, and there were a couple surfers out there. When we came in, we steered wide to the right, to miss them. But that didn't stop one of the surfers from confronting us, and yelling at us that we put their lives in danger. Chill, bra. We weren't even close.

The waves were really big past the breakers. I've never been surfing, but wave running the ocean was so much fun, I doubt it can be topped. I'd see a huge wave in front of me, so I'd turn around to catch it on time before it crashes. If I would get there right before it breaks, it would launched me ten feet in the air. A couple times I didn't make it, and it threw me right off. I scramble to the wave runner, before another wave would try to swallow me whole. Thanks spence. It was really fun. Spence and Angie at the beach. Ange brought snacky cakes and cheez its. Good forsight.


Spence with Morrow Rock in the background.

California Adventure: Hiking Half Dome

After our family has been going to Yosemite for years, I've never hiked half dome. So this past trip, I did it solo. I went with just my basketball shoes, and a waterbottle that I refilled with the river's water. I saw some incredible sights, and even a tough trek through snow, once I got high enough in elevation. Here is an overall layout of the hike. The first waterfall to climb is Venal Falls, then Nevada Falls. There is a lot of mountain to climb before reaching the side of half dome. Here is an overall layout:

First here are some pics of the first waterfall: Vernal Falls. Also known as the mist trail, a hiker is going to get soaked since the trail leads right next to the falls. It can get pretty cold, but once at the top, it can be pretty refreshing.

This is a view hiking up the stairs right at the base of the falls.

After reaching the top, the view is pretty amazing. It's all Lord of the Rings style.

After Vernal, the next waterfall is Nevada falls. The trail doesn't lead right next to the falls, but the taller Nevada is quite a sight.

A rock juts out at the top of the falls.

After a long hike through the forest toward the base of half dome, I didn't expect the eventual 4 feet of snow that hid the trail. After being lost for a little bit, I guessed my way up to the base, and found the trail. After a steep hike up half dome itself, there is a place where cables are fastened to the rock so climbers can pull themselves up. Wooden planks are driven in the rock for climbers to stop and rest. The picture below shows this:

I got as far as the red dot. Because of the snow, the cables and planks weren't up. I knew this going up, so I was not disappointed. There was still a great view. So with this final pic, I got to where there is a little saddle on the left side of the rock. I took it in, then went back the same day.
So all in all? Heck of a dang trip.