Bill Hader does Keith Morrison

This kills me.

"You mean kills you with kindess? Hmmm."

Not Everything Goes To Plan

Kevin Garnett: "I got class coming out my ace."

And here I thought that Garnett was just a petty thug. He beats his chest after a win over the Raptors, blocks any incoming shot after the whistle, and throws his spindly elbows all game. Even the rookie DJ Augustin has had enough of their Bubish stuff. "They come in and intimidate you and try to punk you,” Augustin said. "But if you don't back down from them, they kind of fold.”

But maybe we got them him wrong. Maybe his is really a team of extraordinary gentlemen. Let him put it this way:


“You’re not going to get any of that on this team,” Garnett said. “It’s a team of gentlemen, a team of class and a team of individuals that respect each other. You’re not going to get any of that. . . . We win as a (expletive) team; we lose as a (expletive) team.”

Well put sir, well put. We all tip our top hats to you.

I've been tagged

8 favorite tv shows
1. The Simpsons (when it was good)
2. Pardon the Interruption
3. The Soup
4. Ren and Stimpy/Salute Your Shorts
5. Jeopardy
6 It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
7.Lakers/Dodgers/BYU/USC/Any NFL game
8.Tie-Seinfeld/Curb you Enthusiasm/Bear Grylls/24(when it was good)

The gross close ups were the best

8 favorite restaurants
1.La Calonia
2.In For Out
3.Red Robin
4.Beto's
5.Claim Jumper
6.Lam's Chinese
7.Shrump at Red Lob
8.Cheap Chinese(Bakersfield)

This only adds to the charm. Best Mexican Food in Utah. Plus, the fish you catch in the stream by the car dealership off of university parkway? Beto's will buy that ish.

8 things that happened yesterday

1.Taught math

2.Applied for an actuarial position in Utah

3.Got a TB test

4.Got fingerprinted

5.Fell asleep in Mux's bed

6.Held an Elder's Quorum meeting. Gotta plan the Christmas Party (how did we get it?)

7.Went to the institute

8.Played volleyball with the knuckleheads

A dog and his b#%&*. Mux looks exactly like Sarah Silverman's dog, 'duck.'

8 Things I look forward too

1.Thanksgiving

2.Next Lakers game (gotta watch it with Pepa)

3.The Dodgers signing Manny Ramirez

4.Next Challa Elms Memorial Classic football game. I'm gonna kill some children.

5.To watch Burn After Reading in the dollar theater

6.Kinda looking forward to watch new Bond movie. I liked Casino Royale.

7.My Birthday

8.Results for Financial Mathematics Actuarial Exam. (More like nervously waiting for 8 weeks.)

"You adopted another one?"

8 things I love about Fall/Winter

1.I aint in Utah for the winter/The wonderful temperature in California

2.Colors changing

3.Football

4.Birthday/Christmas season

5.Blankey weather

6.Mux stops the itching

7.Growing out the hair

8.Cookies

8 things you might not know about me

1.I play the piano/tuba/trombone/euphonium/little bit o'guitar.

2.I like to sing

3.I lived in Central America/speak Spanish.

4.I love to play basketball/swim

5.I think politics is kind of stupid.

6.I hate M.I.A.

7.I can swallow my tongue

8.I hate meatloaf. (The food, not the singer)

No one in the corner gots swagger like this? Thank goodness that's the case.

People I tag

1.Drewsoph

2.The Nichols

3.The Morenos

4.Abby

5.La Familia Campbell

6.The Bubbinator

Things to experience in Germany: #1 Oktoberfest

What better way to celebrate German reunification than to get completely tanked, then get all grab-butt with each other? Because we all know that Germans get all huggy and gropey when drunk. This is Oktoberfest, where the beer flows like wine, and the grandmas all make it a point to drink you into the ground, then stand over your body to call you a sissy boy.

"You twist the boot to avoid the air bubble... sissy."

Although this is the definitive German celebration, there is the fact that Andrew and fam don't drink, thereby missing what makes Oktoberfest, Oktoberfest. But all is not lost. You can take advantage of the season.

You can eat hearty German food of schweinsbraten, haxn, wurstel, and weisswurst. I don't know exactly what these are, but at least I know that they come from part of a pig. The word o' wisdom don't say you can't eat pork! Hooray.

Moreover, as scary as this might seem, you will be the most sober person in the country. You will have the clearest mind, kinda like Luke Wilson when he traveled into the future.

Or if you want, you can be totally uninhibited. Want to punch somebody? Sock him in the face! You don't want to wear clothes? Streak to your hearts content! How is all this possible? From what I hear, during Oktoberfest, public intoxication actually earns its citizens a small monetary reward. All it takes is to act the part.

If you need help, just remember, WWDSD, What would Donald Sutherland do?

Gut (G)Luck, Andrew. Germany Won't Know Hit 'Em.

Well, my brother Andrew's in Germany fulfilling his three year obligation to Army for paying his debt to the racket that USC calls its dental school. He's there already, with Shawna and the baby Ellie joining him next week sometime. He's a doctor, an officer, but certainly not a gentleman. No wonder Goebbels talked crap about his kind back in the day.

How is this not considered the master race?

I'm proud of him, though. He's half a world away, opening up his most ironic new chapter in his life's book. For a kid who never put up with authority figures (During Halloween, he once called out his high school campus security for impersonating an officer), he ends up in Army. Hooahh. At least he's the authority. All the grunts will have to salute him. Maybe he'll take it too far, abusing his power by punishing the cadets in new and interesting ways.

If Major Payne was German, the Nazi's probably would've won those freaking wars.

Y'all be sure to check out the link to his blog on my page if you want updates straight from the horses laptop.

As for Andrew, keep it up. I'm sure Germany will treat you well. It is the foremost authority on a plethora of subjects, which I will be touching on in 5 updates over the next 5 days (yes, I know. Updating my blog for the next five days will double the content that I've put on over the past 5 months.) So you got that to look forward to, which is nice.

History Test

I have enjoyed a number of subjects as a student, and history I guess is one of them. Nothing beats watching historical fiction movies in Dale Barker's class. I crack up when I remember Steve McQueen calling the Chinese slopeheads in The Sand Pebbles.

But I have taken only 4 history classes thoughout all of high school and college. History would definitely be my weakest link if I were to go on Jeopardy. That and opera. Because honestly, who gives a crap about that?

Cracked.com had a list of 25 significant historical events as depicted by 5 year-olds' drawings. Can you tell what each event is? Some drawings are easy, some are cryptic, and some are funny. So give it a shot. Score 1 point for each event you indentify. I'll put my answers in the comments section, so you can compare. Tell me what you got. You can click on the pictures to biggasize it. Good luck.

#1

#2
#3
#4
#5
#6

#7

#8

#9

#10

#11

#12
#13
#14
#15
#16
#17
#18
#19
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#25

To Josheph

I'm just keepin' it real.

From the 4th

This comes from Andrew and Shawna's blog, but I liked it.

We um, found these cool hoodies. Can you guess who Huey, Dewey, and Louie are?

It's Andrew, Tim, and Challa!

Some things you like, some things you hate.

I liked Wall-e.

I hate M.I.A.

Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Vision of the Future

I enjoy imagining what the future will bring. It was only in 7th grade that my crazy social science teacher was talking about the advent of the internet and how instead of kilobytes, we would be dealing with gigabytes, and the exponentials used to contrast their size. It's amazing to see where we have gone since that time.

I also enjoy looking at others' imagination of the future. Some optimistically look forward. Some fear what it will bring. There are the bleak dystopias of Orwell's 1984, and A Brave New World. There is the technology run amok, like HAL in 2001: A Space Odyssey. There are stories that view the future as the time of reckoning due to our actions now. That's all well and good, but I like Ray Bradbury stories. I like cool, mysterious environments, people, aliens, and gadgets. It's the past's take on the future.

I like the old school Tomorrowland at Disneyland. I like the imagination of the future to be somewhere that we would like to be.



Who doesn't love robots, and gadgets, and cool lights, and crazy architecture? And captain EO? I like the charm of the old school view of the future.

It was even evident in the movies in the not too distant past about the future. I used to like sci-fi movies. ET, Star Wars, Flight of the Navigator, Batteries Not Included, Inner Space, Mars Attacks, Transformers the cartoon, The Last Starfighter, Tron, and even Jurassic Park, had this sense of movie magic when I watch them as a kid.

But I haven't seen that magic in a while. CG has lost its pizzazz, and films have lost their charm. Compare the new stars wars with the old. I'm not even about the older star wars movies, but the new ones are garbage. Speilberg and Lucas worked on the new Indy movie, and even that is caca; Aliens, really? It was a yawn. All the other sci-fi movies seem like they are a sci-fi channel original production. If you haven't seen any of those, well, let's just say that mystery science theater 3000 would have a field day. Or even worse, sci-fi movies today are just boring; minority report, a.i., i robot, transformers, I'm looking at you. We went from this:

to this:
That kinda makes me sad. Can anybody prove me wrong about a sci fi movie that I can actually enjoy? There is one on the horizon that I hope is good. What better company than Pixar to recapture that Tomorrowland charm with bleeding edge technology, and more importantly, creativity. Here is a new clip for WALL E.

California Adventure: Wave Runner at Morrow Bay

Hey y'all. Everbody has their favorite beach, and mine is the Morrow Bay, Cayucos area. I love Central California beaches. They never get hot, they are way more relaxed and less populated than Southern California beaches. It's just got a laid back feeling. That's why I jumped at the chance of taking a wave runner with friend Spencer "Gushman" Anderson, and I had a blast.

This picture shows where we chilled on an isolated beach. There is this bar of land that separates a little bay from the open sea. Spencer, Angela, and I put the wave runner in the water at the public dock, and made our way past the breakers, right next to Morrow Rock on the right. From there we went out and had a beach to ourselves, which is only accessible by watercraft, or a long, out of the way, walk.

After going past the breakers, seals were there to greet us, or give us the stink eye for going out to their territory, I couldn't tell. They reminded me of Mux, though.

Here is the view of the strip of land from the other end. We stayed at the red dot. The waves were really big, and there were a couple surfers out there. When we came in, we steered wide to the right, to miss them. But that didn't stop one of the surfers from confronting us, and yelling at us that we put their lives in danger. Chill, bra. We weren't even close.

The waves were really big past the breakers. I've never been surfing, but wave running the ocean was so much fun, I doubt it can be topped. I'd see a huge wave in front of me, so I'd turn around to catch it on time before it crashes. If I would get there right before it breaks, it would launched me ten feet in the air. A couple times I didn't make it, and it threw me right off. I scramble to the wave runner, before another wave would try to swallow me whole. Thanks spence. It was really fun. Spence and Angie at the beach. Ange brought snacky cakes and cheez its. Good forsight.


Spence with Morrow Rock in the background.