Hey y'all

It's that time of year.

2010-10-06T13:39:00.000-07:00

Makes me wanna watch 28 days later

Yes, yes y'all

2009-10-16T09:15:00.000-07:00

That Matt Treanor. Lucky son of a bee-sting.

Too much hair, too much sexy

2009-07-02T17:58:00.000-07:00

I uncovered these pictures not too long ago. I had this hair when I was attending BYU, which does have a dress code which prohibits long hair for males. This wasn't even as long as it got. They would mainly enforce this code by not allowing you into volleyball matches and the like, but nobody gave me any guff. They were probably disarmed by my looks. Anyway, long story short, my employer eventually told me to 'look into cutting my hair,' and being that i liked my job, I cut it, then immediately lost all of my physical strength.

Goates, myself, and Lo

Andrew, Shawna, and Father Bill
So there we have it. I am grateful for a full head of hair, and that I am not like this guy:

On a dark, dark night...

2009-06-29T17:36:00.000-07:00

There was a dark, dark cave. And in that dark, dark cave, was...a bunch of bat guano! Ace Ventura woulda freaked. On this next installment of my little travelogue that I seem to be posting lately, I got to go to an adandoned mine near Caliente, California. What I saw there was too horrible to descibe with words, so I'll put some pics for ya viewing pleasure.

There aren't any evil murderous okies that live near Tehachapi, right? Right?

There are a bunch of Resident Evil 4 style cabins that are right outside the cave. They seemed to be adandoned, but I couldn't help but feel we were being watched. 'Matalo!'
When you see mummified cats in front of these places, I think it looks a little tacky, but it could just be me.
This is an old abandoned miner's nightclub. It was called the 'Mine Shaft'. After all, when you work hard, you play hard. Or so I've been told.

This is the entrance of the mine. And this is Janna for all those in the know. Since this is a public blog, that's all I have to say.
Now after entering the mine, we came face to face with these little rabid buggers.

There were a lot of offshoots that led to who knows where. I didn't want to run into any gollum types, and not having any invisibility rings, I didn't venture too far.

These little guys would swoop down by our heads, but would never hit us. I think they even look kinda cuddly, but I hear these little guys suck blood. Shicaca!

Dodger Dogs and Dodger Dads

2009-06-28T23:46:00.000-07:00

For Father's Day, I took Dad to a Dodger game, and it might have been one of the best ones that we've seen in person. Ethier's 3 hr's provided plenty of fireworks, and Los Doyers won 8-2. Then we were invited onto the field to watch even more fireworks after the game. Here are some pics of our evening.

As the crowds got thicker in right field, I thought to myself that this might be my only opportunity to streak in Dodger stadium without getting caught.

I Love LA was blaring through the speakers as we found our spot.

Dad is standing over the throng.

Being woefully deficient in caloric intake for the week, we decided to go to the all you can eat right field pavilion. We left carnage in our wake.

Kershaw pitched a great game with only 2 earned, and Pau Gasol threw out the first pitch. Dad approves

The worried look over Dad's face could mean only one thing, I'd better make another Dodger Dog run

We were pretty high up, with the diehard Mexican fans. Viva los doyers.

Dad lookin like Geppetto.

They gotta to be startin something when the lights went out and they honored old Jacko by playing a timeline of his music.

A great game, great performance, great weather, great (and by great I mainly mean quantity) food, and great parking to where we left without waiting, it was a pretty nice evening.

Disco Inferno

2009-06-23T08:34:00.000-07:00

Luckily for me, I don't have that much hair to singe, unlike some others that night.

Hey y'all.
I got to play with fire the other day. Gushman has a fire baton, and we got into Polynesian daredevil mode. This picture was taken with a long exposure setting, and I liked it.

Lakers Bring Home The Title!

2009-06-16T21:54:00.000-07:00

Pure gold.

Bite Face

2009-06-05T09:35:00.000-07:00

When I went to the wallaces on Sundays, their dog Lucky (aka Muffy, Skippy) would give me bite faces because she was ornery. Kobe gave the Magic his own bite face. Go Lakes!

I like this video.

2009-05-27T13:20:00.000-07:00

check it.

Dom Deluise

2009-05-08T01:55:00.001-07:00

"It may be some kinda bug, or some kinda slug, or a portuguese manowar"

Dom Deluise passed away recently, and I always thought he was really funny. I remember first seeing him on Dick Clark and Ed McMahon's TV Bloopers and Practical Jokes when I was little. I don't remember what he did, but I do remember him running around with all the manic energy that Chris Farley used to portray him on SNL.

You could tell he was very talented. If you haven't seen the end of Blazing Saddles, where he is directing the chintzy and flaunting 'showmen', you need to do it now. I'd post it, but I don't know if it's technically possible. It might be too gay to function.

"Come on boys, let's..."

Finally check out this clip from Carson. Funny stuff. They don't make entertainers like him anymore.

Here's the real deal, followed by the spoof. I'm sure Dom woulda spoofed himself like that if they asked him too.

The Lake Show

2009-04-28T09:55:00.001-07:00

Go Lakes! After doing the traditional thing of watching NBA playoff games in the eatery at Yosemite, I'm getting excited for this team, but at the same time I'm worried that I'll jinx them if I say too much. But let me say that they looked pretty good beating what I think is a pretty good jazz team. With Kobe, Odom, and Pau (I loved how Pepa told the missionaries that he looked like Jesus) playing so well, they are going to be tough to beat.

Also, Leo, what's up with wearing a Georgia hat at last nights game? Maybe his movie shoulda been called, "The Man in the Stupid Hat." Somebody get this guy a Laker jersey.

Max: In Memoriam (1989-2009)

2009-04-02T09:28:00.000-07:00

Andrew wrote this epitaph for Max, and it's a loving tribute. For that reason, I've included it here.
Bought in a cake decorating store, you first came into our lives when I was in fifth grade. You were so small, you fit inside Mom's coat pocket. You were so small, in fact, we had to tie a small bell to your collar so we could know where you were.

You fit into the family immediately, even if you would run away from us in the front yard. You were loud, and funny, and sweet. You were good with everyone who came into our lives, both young and old (well, maybe with the exception of Myron and Soto, that is).

You grew with us and went from a tiny, all black puppy to a greying, distinguished Elms family member. You were there for all of the ups and downs. You had a preternatural sense of how to comfort us, snuggling up to us when we were sad or knowing to curl up at our feet to watch over us when we were ill. Thank you so much for that.

You saw us go from children until some of us had children of our own. We're so happy that Ellie got to know you. She loved you so much that it was no coincidence that her first word was "doggy". We're thankful that it was her four-legged pursuit of you in Bakersfield that was the impetus that taught Ellie to finally crawl. And we will always remember how she would light up when she saw you appear over Skype.

We love you and will miss you immensely. You were part of the family--a true Elms brother. I'm sorry it's taken me this long to post this for you. It's been a hard time to get past all the raw emotion and find the right words. Here's to 20 great years!

We love you, Max.

The Guys

2009-03-27T15:37:00.001-07:00

I've been finding and compiling pictures of Max for my family, and I've run across some pictures of those who have frequented my blog. I wanna share these with you guys.

La Familia Campbell

2009-03-27T15:34:00.000-07:00

I've been finding and compiling pictures of Max for my family, and I've run across some pictures of those who have frequented my blog. I wanna share these with you guys.

Different world over there, huh.

Kath Rapps

2009-03-27T15:33:00.000-07:00

I've been finding and compiling pictures of Max for my family, and I've run across some pictures of those who have frequented my blog. I wanna share these with you guys.

This was at my baptism.

Tyler Nichols

2009-03-27T15:28:00.000-07:00

I've been finding and compiling pictures of Max for my family, and I've run across some pictures of those who have frequented my blog. I wanna share these with you guys.

To Max

2009-03-24T18:03:00.000-07:00

The Best Dog in the World.
I love you, sweetie

1989-2009

Gael Garcia Bernal

2009-03-22T12:29:00.001-07:00

When I was sleepwalking last night, I must have accidentally posted some of my early acting stuff. In response, Derek Smith says Andrew looks like this guy

This is the dirtiest picture in the world. It's coming off the blog soon, cuz I don't want to look at it everytime i open it up.

update: it's off

The Elms in the Movies

2009-03-22T09:15:00.000-07:00

The other day I mistakenly said that Andrew looks the eldest incarnation of Samir in Slumdog Millionaire. Whereas that statement is baseless and false, I did, however, want to share with you all my cinematic debut from Hot Rod:

Jai Ho!!!

2009-03-21T19:25:00.000-07:00

I recently saw the Oscar 'best picture' winner, Slumdog Millionaire. I liked it.

For those who haven't seen it the main plot is about an orphan from the slums of Mumbai who gets a shot at the Indian "Who Wants To Be a Millionaire?" (Even though the top prize of 20,000,000 rupees is the equivalent of around $410,000) He is able to apply his knowledge gained from experiences in his harsh life.

The movie's kinda like this, but in India. Remember those long pauses and cliffhangers? Who Wants to be a Millionaire was the catalyst that led to Tivo.

Remember on Oscar night when Slumdog won? It seemed like a thousand little Indian kids were running around like it was a Billy Madison graduation party. I like that the director Danny Boyle and crew were able to fly as many of the cast out as they could. They definitely took it all in. The reason I bring that up is that the movie really gives you a sense that it cares about the actors and the characters they portray. As a result the young actors, especially the children, shine. And since the actors are all unknowns, it reinforces the movie's theme of fate allowing one to overcome difficult odds.

Also, Andrew looks like Samir, the older brother.

Did I say Andrew? He looks more like a goomba. Does that mean Drew looks like a goomba?

The cinematography was great. Most of the movie took place in the sprawling slums of Mumbai. It shows third world poverty and overpopulation at its worst. Those visuals are so striking, all those people gotta be cg, right? It's unbelievable that people live in those conditions. Then they were able to create great chase sequences through this bustle. The setting also changes as time passes, although they do not do this as well as the astonishing City of God.

Speaking of which, Slumdog shares a lot thematically with City of God. Slumdog is set in the slums of Mumbai, City is set in the favelas of Rio. Both focus on the effects of poverty, violence, gangs, overpopulation, the values and flaws, the accomplishments and losses, and the humanity of those who live there. In slumdog, the main character Jamal maintains his purity and innocence. Fate then allows him to instantaneously leave his difficult circumstances behind, and get the girl. (Who grows up to be gorgeous. I wonder if he would still fall head over heels if she turned out to look like Juliet Lewis.) But how many people can fate allow to be on a game show?

She gets easily mistaken for Patrick Swayze

In City of God, all the characters struggled with their circumstances. There was no convenient escape. The characters in that movie had to choose to confront their society, or else be devoured by it. Rocket, the protag in City of God, was the closest to leaving the favela when he got a job as a photographer at a newspaper. But his assignment was to return to the favela to document what was taking place. In a memorable scene, he was stranded as a bystander in the middle of a gunfight.

City of God is a better movie, but Slumdog got the Oscar. It was the one I would have voted for out of those selected. It is more accessible than City of God, I guess. There were some dark and tense moments, but everything falls the way that we would want them to. I think it would be interesting to know what Jamal would do with his money, but unfortunately, the movie doesn't go there. If anything, he should spring for some dance lessons.

Which leads me to my turd in the punchbowl moment. Was the dance at the end of the movie necessary? It was out of place. It didn't fit the tone of the movie at all. I'm sure it was a nod to bollywood style movies, and maybe it was fun for those involved. But its still out of place. It would be akin to Benicio del Toro doing a Mexican hat dance at the end of Traffic. I knew some girls who would love to throw Bollywood parties, because they couldn't get enough of the kitsch and melodrama. I always thought that stuff was annoying.

This is Bollywood's Citizen Cane. I like it better than the American Superman and Spider Man movies,though.

So there we go. I was going to give it an A-, but I have to note that it had one of the worst soundtracks. I've ever heard.

Shudder. It's MIA. She has all the appeal of a kick to the min. Why is she still around?

That knocks it down to a B. But still recommended. Jai ho!!

Bill Hader does Keith Morrison

2009-03-18T02:27:00.000-07:00

This kills me.

"You mean kills you with kindess? Hmmm."

Not Everything Goes To Plan

2009-01-31T16:59:00.000-08:00

2009-01-23T01:30:00.000-08:00

Kevin Garnett: "I got class coming out my ace."

2009-01-11T20:01:00.000-08:00

And here I thought that Garnett was just a petty thug. He beats his chest after a win over the Raptors, blocks any incoming shot after the whistle, and throws his spindly elbows all game. Even the rookie DJ Augustin has had enough of their Bubish stuff. "They come in and intimidate you and try to punk you,” Augustin said. "But if you don't back down from them, they kind of fold.”

But maybe we got them him wrong. Maybe his is really a team of extraordinary gentlemen. Let him put it this way:

“You’re not going to get any of that on this team,” Garnett said. “It’s a team of gentlemen, a team of class and a team of individuals that respect each other. You’re not going to get any of that. . . . We win as a (expletive) team; we lose as a (expletive) team.”

Well put sir, well put. We all tip our top hats to you.

I've been tagged

2008-11-13T09:54:00.000-08:00

8 favorite tv shows
1. The Simpsons (when it was good)
2. Pardon the Interruption
3. The Soup
4. Ren and Stimpy/Salute Your Shorts
5. Jeopardy
6 It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
7.Lakers/Dodgers/BYU/USC/Any NFL game
8.Tie-Seinfeld/Curb you Enthusiasm/Bear Grylls/24(when it was good)

The gross close ups were the best

8 favorite restaurants
1.La Calonia
2.In For Out
3.Red Robin
4.Beto's
5.Claim Jumper
6.Lam's Chinese
7.Shrump at Red Lob
8.Cheap Chinese(Bakersfield)

This only adds to the charm. Best Mexican Food in Utah. Plus, the fish you catch in the stream by the car dealership off of university parkway? Beto's will buy that ish.

8 things that happened yesterday

1.Taught math

2.Applied for an actuarial position in Utah

3.Got a TB test

4.Got fingerprinted

5.Fell asleep in Mux's bed

6.Held an Elder's Quorum meeting. Gotta plan the Christmas Party (how did we get it?)

7.Went to the institute

8.Played volleyball with the knuckleheads

A dog and his b#%&*. Mux looks exactly like Sarah Silverman's dog, 'duck.'

8 Things I look forward too

1.Thanksgiving

2.Next Lakers game (gotta watch it with Pepa)

3.The Dodgers signing Manny Ramirez

4.Next Challa Elms Memorial Classic football game. I'm gonna kill some children.

5.To watch Burn After Reading in the dollar theater

6.Kinda looking forward to watch new Bond movie. I liked Casino Royale.

7.My Birthday

8.Results for Financial Mathematics Actuarial Exam. (More like nervously waiting for 8 weeks.)

"You adopted another one?"

8 things I love about Fall/Winter

1.I aint in Utah for the winter/The wonderful temperature in California

2.Colors changing

3.Football

4.Birthday/Christmas season

5.Blankey weather

6.Mux stops the itching

7.Growing out the hair

8.Cookies

8 things you might not know about me

1.I play the piano/tuba/trombone/euphonium/little bit o'guitar.

2.I like to sing

3.I lived in Central America/speak Spanish.

4.I love to play basketball/swim

5.I think politics is kind of stupid.

6.I hate M.I.A.

7.I can swallow my tongue

8.I hate meatloaf. (The food, not the singer)

No one in the corner gots swagger like this? Thank goodness that's the case.

People I tag

1.Drewsoph

2.The Nichols

3.The Morenos

4.Abby

5.La Familia Campbell

6.The Bubbinator

Things to experience in Germany: #1 Oktoberfest

2008-10-08T21:49:00.000-07:00

What better way to celebrate German reunification than to get completely tanked, then get all grab-butt with each other? Because we all know that Germans get all huggy and gropey when drunk. This is Oktoberfest, where the beer flows like wine, and the grandmas all make it a point to drink you into the ground, then stand over your body to call you a sissy boy.

"You twist the boot to avoid the air bubble... sissy."

Although this is the definitive German celebration, there is the fact that Andrew and fam don't drink, thereby missing what makes Oktoberfest, Oktoberfest. But all is not lost. You can take advantage of the season.

You can eat hearty German food of schweinsbraten, haxn, wurstel, and weisswurst. I don't know exactly what these are, but at least I know that they come from part of a pig. The word o' wisdom don't say you can't eat pork! Hooray.

Moreover, as scary as this might seem, you will be the most sober person in the country. You will have the clearest mind, kinda like Luke Wilson when he traveled into the future.

Or if you want, you can be totally uninhibited. Want to punch somebody? Sock him in the face! You don't want to wear clothes? Streak to your hearts content! How is all this possible? From what I hear, during Oktoberfest, public intoxication actually earns its citizens a small monetary reward. All it takes is to act the part.

If you need help, just remember, WWDSD, What would Donald Sutherland do?

Gut (G)Luck, Andrew. Germany Won't Know Hit 'Em.

2008-10-07T21:50:00.000-07:00

Well, my brother Andrew's in Germany fulfilling his three year obligation to Army for paying his debt to the racket that USC calls its dental school. He's there already, with Shawna and the baby Ellie joining him next week sometime. He's a doctor, an officer, but certainly not a gentleman. No wonder Goebbels talked crap about his kind back in the day.

How is this not considered the master race?

I'm proud of him, though. He's half a world away, opening up his most ironic new chapter in his life's book. For a kid who never put up with authority figures (During Halloween, he once called out his high school campus security for impersonating an officer), he ends up in Army. Hooahh. At least he's the authority. All the grunts will have to salute him. Maybe he'll take it too far, abusing his power by punishing the cadets in new and interesting ways.

If Major Payne was German, the Nazi's probably would've won those freaking wars.

Y'all be sure to check out the link to his blog on my page if you want updates straight from the horses laptop.

As for Andrew, keep it up. I'm sure Germany will treat you well. It is the foremost authority on a plethora of subjects, which I will be touching on in 5 updates over the next 5 days (yes, I know. Updating my blog for the next five days will double the content that I've put on over the past 5 months.) So you got that to look forward to, which is nice.

History Test

2008-07-23T13:11:00.001-07:00

I have enjoyed a number of subjects as a student, and history I guess is one of them. Nothing beats watching historical fiction movies in Dale Barker's class. I crack up when I remember Steve McQueen calling the Chinese slopeheads in The Sand Pebbles.

But I have taken only 4 history classes thoughout all of high school and college. History would definitely be my weakest link if I were to go on Jeopardy. That and opera. Because honestly, who gives a crap about that?

Cracked.com had a list of 25 significant historical events as depicted by 5 year-olds' drawings. Can you tell what each event is? Some drawings are easy, some are cryptic, and some are funny. So give it a shot. Score 1 point for each event you indentify. I'll put my answers in the comments section, so you can compare. Tell me what you got. You can click on the pictures to biggasize it. Good luck.

#2
#3
#4
#5
#6

#10

#11

#12
#13
#14
#15
#16
#17
#18
#19
#20
#21
#22
#23
#24
#25

To Josheph

2008-07-19T11:57:00.001-07:00

I'm just keepin' it real.

From the 4th

2008-07-13T21:28:00.001-07:00

This comes from Andrew and Shawna's blog, but I liked it.

We um, found these cool hoodies. Can you guess who Huey, Dewey, and Louie are?

It's Andrew, Tim, and Challa!

Some things you like, some things you hate.

2008-06-29T14:59:00.000-07:00

I liked Wall-e.

I hate M.I.A.

Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Vision of the Future

2008-06-21T12:46:00.000-07:00

I enjoy imagining what the future will bring. It was only in 7th grade that my crazy social science teacher was talking about the advent of the internet and how instead of kilobytes, we would be dealing with gigabytes, and the exponentials used to contrast their size. It's amazing to see where we have gone since that time.

I also enjoy looking at others' imagination of the future. Some optimistically look forward. Some fear what it will bring. There are the bleak dystopias of Orwell's 1984, and A Brave New World. There is the technology run amok, like HAL in 2001: A Space Odyssey. There are stories that view the future as the time of reckoning due to our actions now. That's all well and good, but I like Ray Bradbury stories. I like cool, mysterious environments, people, aliens, and gadgets. It's the past's take on the future.

I like the old school Tomorrowland at Disneyland. I like the imagination of the future to be somewhere that we would like to be.

Who doesn't love robots, and gadgets, and cool lights, and crazy architecture? And captain EO? I like the charm of the old school view of the future.

It was even evident in the movies in the not too distant past about the future. I used to like sci-fi movies. ET, Star Wars, Flight of the Navigator, Batteries Not Included, Inner Space, Mars Attacks, Transformers the cartoon, The Last Starfighter, Tron, and even Jurassic Park, had this sense of movie magic when I watch them as a kid.

But I haven't seen that magic in a while. CG has lost its pizzazz, and films have lost their charm. Compare the new stars wars with the old. I'm not even about the older star wars movies, but the new ones are garbage. Speilberg and Lucas worked on the new Indy movie, and even that is caca; Aliens, really? It was a yawn. All the other sci-fi movies seem like they are a sci-fi channel original production. If you haven't seen any of those, well, let's just say that mystery science theater 3000 would have a field day. Or even worse, sci-fi movies today are just boring; minority report, a.i., i robot, transformers, I'm looking at you. We went from this:

to this:
That kinda makes me sad. Can anybody prove me wrong about a sci fi movie that I can actually enjoy? There is one on the horizon that I hope is good. What better company than Pixar to recapture that Tomorrowland charm with bleeding edge technology, and more importantly, creativity. Here is a new clip for WALL E.

California Adventure: Wave Runner at Morrow Bay

2008-05-31T12:07:00.000-07:00

Hey y'all. Everbody has their favorite beach, and mine is the Morrow Bay, Cayucos area. I love Central California beaches. They never get hot, they are way more relaxed and less populated than Southern California beaches. It's just got a laid back feeling. That's why I jumped at the chance of taking a wave runner with friend Spencer "Gushman" Anderson, and I had a blast.

This picture shows where we chilled on an isolated beach. There is this bar of land that separates a little bay from the open sea. Spencer, Angela, and I put the wave runner in the water at the public dock, and made our way past the breakers, right next to Morrow Rock on the right. From there we went out and had a beach to ourselves, which is only accessible by watercraft, or a long, out of the way, walk.

After going past the breakers, seals were there to greet us, or give us the stink eye for going out to their territory, I couldn't tell. They reminded me of Mux, though.

Here is the view of the strip of land from the other end. We stayed at the red dot. The waves were really big, and there were a couple surfers out there. When we came in, we steered wide to the right, to miss them. But that didn't stop one of the surfers from confronting us, and yelling at us that we put their lives in danger. Chill, bra. We weren't even close.

The waves were really big past the breakers. I've never been surfing, but wave running the ocean was so much fun, I doubt it can be topped. I'd see a huge wave in front of me, so I'd turn around to catch it on time before it crashes. If I would get there right before it breaks, it would launched me ten feet in the air. A couple times I didn't make it, and it threw me right off. I scramble to the wave runner, before another wave would try to swallow me whole. Thanks spence. It was really fun. Spence and Angie at the beach. Ange brought snacky cakes and cheez its. Good forsight.

Spence with Morrow Rock in the background.

California Adventure: Hiking Half Dome

2008-05-31T11:04:00.000-07:00

After our family has been going to Yosemite for years, I've never hiked half dome. So this past trip, I did it solo. I went with just my basketball shoes, and a waterbottle that I refilled with the river's water. I saw some incredible sights, and even a tough trek through snow, once I got high enough in elevation. Here is an overall layout of the hike. The first waterfall to climb is Venal Falls, then Nevada Falls. There is a lot of mountain to climb before reaching the side of half dome. Here is an overall layout:

First here are some pics of the first waterfall: Vernal Falls. Also known as the mist trail, a hiker is going to get soaked since the trail leads right next to the falls. It can get pretty cold, but once at the top, it can be pretty refreshing.

This is a view hiking up the stairs right at the base of the falls.

After reaching the top, the view is pretty amazing. It's all Lord of the Rings style.

After Vernal, the next waterfall is Nevada falls. The trail doesn't lead right next to the falls, but the taller Nevada is quite a sight.

A rock juts out at the top of the falls.

After a long hike through the forest toward the base of half dome, I didn't expect the eventual 4 feet of snow that hid the trail. After being lost for a little bit, I guessed my way up to the base, and found the trail. After a steep hike up half dome itself, there is a place where cables are fastened to the rock so climbers can pull themselves up. Wooden planks are driven in the rock for climbers to stop and rest. The picture below shows this:

I got as far as the red dot. Because of the snow, the cables and planks weren't up. I knew this going up, so I was not disappointed. There was still a great view. So with this final pic, I got to where there is a little saddle on the left side of the rock. I took it in, then went back the same day.
So all in all? Heck of a dang trip.

Pics from Yosemite

2008-05-12T21:22:00.000-07:00

Hey yall. I just got back from Yosemite with Grandma and Grandpa Elms, Father Bill, Shawna, Amy, and Ellie baby. The trees were in bloom, the falls were full with water, and the whistle pigs were out in full force. Here are some pics.

I look like a mojado.

Grandma Lois and Granpa Bill gettin sprayed by Yosemite falls

Yosemite falls from a distance

Father Bill gives my niece Ellie a dogwood blossom. What a babe.

Entering the valley I got the balance of a jungle cat.

Me and the Bubster with the jumpoff

At least I don't gotta pay those property expenses...

2008-04-16T16:08:00.000-07:00

For all those supporting me as a I look to start my career, I got some bad news today. I did not land the job in Glendale. I was a finalist, so that gives me confidence in finding another job soon. I guess that's not the direction I needed to go. I got my head up. So I'll keep trying to grab the bull by the horns while fighting off that stinking bear.

Art Will Triumph

2008-04-07T19:57:00.000-07:00

Hey y'all. Check out this hilarious Human Giant clip, featuring the voice of Tracy Morgan.

It's hard enough for black actors out there, let alone invisible ones. So what do you do when prejudice stares you in the face? Play the video for the touching answer. (contains strong bleeped out language)

Papa and Pepa's Pet Puppy Pug-Chuy

2008-03-29T13:21:00.000-07:00

Chuy, Chewie, Chooie. I don't know the name exactly. But one thing I do know, this dog aint got no beak.
They got the dog from Pepa's nail lady, since the husband didn't want it around their new grandbaby. So they got him for free.
Papa and the dog bake cakes all night.
Pug-nacious. Papa & Pepa's new dowg.

Me in a suit

2008-03-19T16:54:00.000-07:00

Dane Cook Can't Captivate Crowds with Crap Comedy

2008-03-19T09:25:00.000-07:00

Daryyl, it's your boy. This guy does a great impression. Wonk.

This just in

2008-02-29T14:41:00.000-08:00

I passed my actuarial exam this past Monday in Culver City! After 3 1/2 hours of a grueling test, I was relieved to have passed it. Now I can say, I'm bonafide.

In case you needed another reason to dislike Steve Nash

2008-02-28T22:54:00.000-08:00

Maybe he just got confused and thought he was supposed to be "Stevie Nicks." I honestly believe that he could find a job after basketball as an extra on Showtime's "The L Word."

Oh, and mad props to Dirk for stealing my junior high school haircut.
Nick Carter would be proud. This is what Kobe thinks of it all. I can't wait for the playoffs.

Skip the Jazz

2008-02-24T10:29:00.000-08:00

So everyone's talking about how great the acquisition of Kyle Korver was from the Jazz, and to be honst, I'm a little sick of it. And furthermore, I hate how everyone says he's an Ashton Koosher look-alike. In reality, he looks more like the costar of a recent critically-acclaimed Spanish horror film. Word? Word.

Super Sunday, Super Surprise

2008-02-12T19:43:00.000-08:00

for pats fans! But hey Boston, don't worry, Dawson knows just how you feel.

A Sty for Y'all!

2008-01-04T22:09:00.001-08:00

On the hotter of the two Clintons, no less.

Yes.

2008-01-04T22:06:00.001-08:00

Just like Kirby says, my girl Julia Stiles combines hotness with intelligence. And this pic reminds me of my girl Whoopi when she was the intergalactic sweetness in that Star Trek thang. Whoop de whoo!

Haka Caca

2008-01-04T22:03:00.001-08:00

With my boys. Ty who? Colt Brennan is a wanna-be me.

PEDs

2008-01-04T13:59:00.000-08:00

My noogies were named in the Mitchell Report. That's why they're dimpled.

Lakers Upset Scrooge on Christmas Day

2007-12-29T15:52:00.001-08:00

Try stopping Baby Bynum, you gayf.

Shilling for Andrew

2007-12-10T21:33:00.000-08:00

Here are his latest creations:

http://www.cafepress.com/unga

Excitation!

2007-12-10T20:38:00.001-08:00

Yes! I am so excited! Not only am I close to graduation, and not only is Christmas fast approaching, but the movie I've been looking forward to all year is finally coming out! National Treasure: Book of Secrets is finally debuting, and if you love Nic Cage as much as I do, then I know you're in for a treat. Maybe he'll be as good as he was in Honeymoon in Vegas. I'm gushing here.

A Message from Ellie

2007-12-02T22:33:00.001-08:00

"Uncle Tim! Why'd you leave me with Aunt Amy?"

For Me to Poop On!

2007-12-02T22:30:00.000-08:00

Fat Tim, you've been owned.

Another Pic from my Childhood

2007-11-13T18:49:00.000-08:00

Word.

My Album

2007-11-13T18:26:00.000-08:00

I made this album when I was in Junior High.

Not willing to ride the hard line

2007-10-21T18:41:00.000-07:00

Hey yall,
Viva y Deja Morir in Las Vegas!!! It was an incredibly fun time down there, from seeing Challa and Michael Lee, staying at a really nice house, eating at the Rio buffet, to watching the BYU-UNLV game. Here are some pics of the whole shebang-bang.

The Gang arrives at the house.

I could've gotten a job at the Chippendale's, but decided not to due to the fact that they weren't very nice to my boy Farley.

I thought I was hallucinating in the Rio after eating so much at the buffet.

The Bum
Old Street Vegas, where it's really at. I won $9 at a Roullette table here.
Y'all know you can't take it from me...
This was interesting. Cindy had this face massager at her house that made me look like a psychopathic killer. Plus, I've never paused and thought to myself, "I really need a face massage."
The tower is almost double in size, resting on a single piece no less!
Bum took all the risks, but it cost him in the end. I'm the Jenga master.
Word em up

When we first arrived, we couldn't find the house. That is because the friend of the family, Cindy, couldn't remember the house number. She owns the house, but lets friends and family use it all the time. What a time to not remember it. It was night, but we resorted to looking in backyards to see if the house was empty, only to be chased off by mean looking dogs. After 15 minutes, Cindy finally calls with the address. I want to someday forget the number to a house that I own but never use. That would be a good position. Thanks to Cindy and her family because the house was great!

Being a stats major, I deal with probabilities all day long. I should know better than everyone that the house always wins. I didn't know that it was due to mean standard deviants. I thought I had a safe bet going into the BYU game. BYU was favored by 11 points. If they won by more than 11 points, I double my money. I believed that BYU would kill 'em, so I put down some money. I played 10 bucks, Blake 20, and Bum 40, but he was using Art's money. So a BYU win and some money won would be doubley nice.

Watching the game, BYU was only up 7-6 at the half. They were playing like stink. I was getting a little upset. When the second half started, BYU came out guns blazing. Harvey Unga is the truth, and he was taking over the game. We went up 14-6, then a field goal put us up 17-6. We went up by 11, the magic number. If we stayed here, I would be as content as Garry Schandling at a high end fashion show.

We drive the field again, getting close enough to a field goal. Our QB, Hall, decides to throw an ill advised ball that was intercepted in the end zone. I immediately thought, "If you mess this up for me, Steadman..." This turned out to be crucial.

As the end of the game neared, we drove the field and scored a touchdown. We are up 18 points, with only 3 minutes remaining. Money as good as won, right? They only had time for one more drive. Yeah, one would think. BYU kicks off, and UNLV starts to drive the ball. It's garbage time, BYU has it won, so they decide to not play D with their second string in, and we allow them to score a touchdown with a minute remaining. We are up by 12 with a PAT pending. Instead of a PAT, they line up to go for two. Why would they do that? Is there any way they will win the game? No. Even if they onside kick and recover? Still wouldn't happen. So why would they prefer to lose by 10 than by 11? They went for a two point conversion, and the quarterback threw it, and they caught it.

I felt as empty as when Casey struck out. Everybody else was enjoying a BYU victory, but not me. I can only conclude that the UNLV coaches knew about the spread. Heck, they probably had money on it too. So when people state that what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas, they really mean that when you lose your bet, your money stays in Vegas.

Lesson learned, gambling's a gamble.

My Vacation to California: Death Row Mother Stinkers!

2007-08-29T21:17:00.000-07:00

Remember the family portrait that Rob and Big took with their dog? They redid the infamous picture of Death Row CEO and Rappers Suge Knight, Tupac, and Snoop Dogg respectively. It turns out that Andrew and Shawna live right down the street from the photo studio that made that happen.
To Live and Die in LA, it's the place to be
You've got to be there to know it
Where everybody wanna see

Thursday at Starry Night

2007-08-11T21:09:00.000-07:00

Thanks go to everybody who went to the concert! From battling feedback, to singing and playing without being able to hear ourselves, the haters tried to eat their demon cakes but we didn't let that get us down. We rocked on through Van Halen, Radiohead, Tom Petty, and Iron and Wine. It was a lot of fun and we hope everybody liked it too. Now to perfect that power slide...
Thanks go to Lo for the pics

George and I practicing before the show

Became a little frustrated when owners showed up late with the microphones

check one two

Cami and Landon with us singing History of Lovers

We really whip a donkey's butt

Singing Don't you Worry 'Bout a Thing

Busting out the trombone on History of Lovers, the drummer is playing the trumpet with me.

Me giving my intense face (the lighting was better in person)

So what do you cover when you don't like Something Corporate or Ben Folds?

George would learn songs in half a day. We made a lot of noise for just two people.

Not my favorite action shot during this Radiohead song.

Steve stole the show with Biz Markee's "Just a Friend"

Blake and Nate
Come get some

Come see Chief Roberts!

2007-08-02T15:44:00.000-07:00

Hey y'all. George and I make up Chief Roberts. We're playing at Starry Night located downtown Provo. At 8 o'clock, we'll be playing for all of our friends. So come down to see the band. "If there is one thing I like more than playing music, its hanging out with my rowdy cowboy friends."

It's gonna be a sad day

2007-07-28T11:00:00.000-07:00

His trainer is in prison for perjury. There are audio tapes that I have heard where his trainer is talking to Barry about how "if you take it, then they call you in, and you pee, it should come out clean." The book Game of Shadows chronicles how Barry Bonds is associated with Balco and the drugs the "cream and the clear." So I am surprised that so many people are saying that we should honor Barry's home run record because a man is innocent until proven guilty. Do they mean when he fails a MLB randomized drug test? The reason Barry took the steroids he did is because they were undetectable. As for me, he is guilty because there is documented proof. And visible proof. Just look at that fat head. So when Barry breaks it, I propose that we all wear black in mourning. Who is with me?

Our trip to the Timp Caves

2007-07-24T17:22:00.002-07:00

Hey y'all,
This past weekend George, Blake, Idaho Nate and I went to the Timponogos Caves and it was a lot of fun. There was a 1.5 mile hike that was just challenging enough on a hot weekend that the cooler temperatures of the cave were a nice reward. We spent about 50 minutes in the cave and it was really cool. Check out the picks.

George, myslef, and Blake at the beginning of the trail

Me doing my Bear Grylls impression

Here is a picture of my butt

There were parts that were really narrow, and we were standing on a platform over a cave lake

George looks ready to kill somebody

This is the "heart" of the mountain, and the largest stalactite (not stalacmite) in Utah

After complete darkness in the cave, we were blinded by the flash

We made it through

A nice view after we left the caves

Stuffing our faces with Chinese buff after dominating the caves

Harry Potter and the Order of the Geeks

2007-07-24T11:15:00.000-07:00

The title already makes me an iconoclast in the state of Utah.

But this whole phenomenon made me think of an episode of South Park. Cartman bought tickets to a ride that had a humongous line. Kyle, Kenny, and Stan weren't too excited about waiting, but Cartmen reassured them that anything with a line that long has got to be awesome. So they jumped in. After they reached the end, to their disappointment they saw that their line didn't lead to anything. The line was the ride.

Which leads me to another line:

This is what people did these past two weekends here in Utah, as the Harry Potter book and movie were released. There were some who waited three hours to pick up their copy of the book, and then read it continuously throughout the night, to arrive to their jobs on two hours of sleep. There are those who dressed up, only to find the book sold out in a matter of minutes. There are men in their twenties who became as giddy as schoolgirls as they pondered the prospect of Severus Snape revealing his good side. The theaters at Jordan Commons in Salt Lake set the record of Harry Potter ticket sales over one weekend in the entire nation. There is no escaping it, the bandwagon is rolling, and a ton have jumped on.

But I wonder, is Harry Potter a truly touching piece of work that one must include in his or her life? Or is the hype train rolling too fast that it would be impossible to jump off? If one has started the series, is that person bound in seeing or reading anything that Rowling touches? In my humble opinion, it's just a current fad that is not without precedent.

Star Wars was huge in its day, bringing with it throngs of people who thought it was the best thing since sliced bread. Geeks came out of hiding dressed as Chewbacca and Storm Troopers, and Mark Hamill was a national hero. Even to this day, there are many geeks obsessed with all things Star Wars; they are the ones who couldn't move on to Harry Potter. The parallels are many: A huge movie that set up its own lexicon and mythology, numerous sequels, a boyish hero, bubblegum fantasy that has become a phenomenon. It is just that Harry Potter has done it much quicker. They have gone through their first trilogy, a second, and have one to spare, with each successive installment becoming "the best Harry Potter evar!!!"

Personally, here is hoping that people jump off the wagon soon. So for all those Harry Potter nuts, I pose a question: Have you entered the realm of geekdom, and if so, have you realized it yet?

Tim Nahasapeemapetilon?

2007-07-14T22:20:00.000-07:00

This picture is as red hot as the candy that bears that name.

This is what I would look like in Springfield. I would have the skin color of Apu and the hair of Milhouse, but that's not a bad thing. You can create your own at simpsonsmovie.com. It's as sweet as the tarts that bear that name.

I christen thee, operational

2007-07-14T20:19:00.000-07:00

Hey y'all.

This is my inaugural posting! The reason for this blog is that I got fed up with myspace. I've used it once and got 1,000 pieces of junk mail. Not too cool. I also enjoy theelmstree.blogspot.com, Andrew and Shawna's blog, so be sure to check that out. For all things Tim, be sure to check out regularly.

Hey y'all

It's that time of year.

Yes, yes y'all

Too much hair, too much sexy

On a dark, dark night...

Dodger Dogs and Dodger Dads

Disco Inferno

Lakers Bring Home The Title!

Bite Face

I like this video.

Dom Deluise

The Lake Show

Max: In Memoriam (1989-2009)

The Guys

La Familia Campbell

Kath Rapps

Tyler Nichols

To Max

Gael Garcia Bernal

The Elms in the Movies

Jai Ho!!!

Bill Hader does Keith Morrison

Not Everything Goes To Plan

Kevin Garnett: "I got class coming out my ace."

I've been tagged

Things to experience in Germany: #1 Oktoberfest

Gut (G)Luck, Andrew. Germany Won't Know Hit 'Em.

History Test

To Josheph

From the 4th

Some things you like, some things you hate.

Vision of the Future

California Adventure: Wave Runner at Morrow Bay

California Adventure: Hiking Half Dome

Pics from Yosemite

At least I don't gotta pay those property expenses...

Top 5 Music Videos

Art Will Triumph

Papa and Pepa's Pet Puppy Pug-Chuy

Me in a suit

Dane Cook Can't Captivate Crowds with Crap Comedy

This just in

In case you needed another reason to dislike Steve Nash

Skip the Jazz

Super Sunday, Super Surprise

A Sty for Y'all!

Yes.

Haka Caca

PEDs

Lakers Upset Scrooge on Christmas Day

Shilling for Andrew

Excitation!

A Message from Ellie

For Me to Poop On!

Another Pic from my Childhood

My Album

Not willing to ride the hard line

My Vacation to California: Death Row Mother Stinkers!

Thursday at Starry Night

Come see Chief Roberts!

It's gonna be a sad day

Our trip to the Timp Caves

Harry Potter and the Order of the Geeks

Tim Nahasapeemapetilon?

I christen thee, operational